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Bible Demotivational Poster


WHY CAN'T I OWN A CANADIAN -


TAGS: canadian list jesus bible god sean for 25 00 sale
Rating: 4.34/5

More motifakes by ronsart

squiros - February 20, 2013, 11:15 am
great questions for anyone learning to read. good news buzzramjet! we ALL get to throw rocks at her! unfortunately not in USA since defer to local govt. anywhere legal, i'd gladly help out =D reply: bible reading comprehension ftw
Buzzramjet - August 11, 2012, 11:26 pm
Hilarious. That thing has been around for about 7 years or so. No one has actually been able to rebut it that I can find. And there are more. Like: I found out my wife was not a virgin when I married her, do I get the police to execute her or can I?
fred - October 18, 2010, 10:37 pm
It's funny, because it's true! :D
WhiteTiger225 - July 19, 2010, 11:13 pm
@#180344 Me thinks thou dost protest too much. Upset that your trimmed beard and hair are going to send you to hell? :p
TweedyMcSchwackerstein - June 14, 2010, 7:08 pm
half that shit's miscontstrued, 2 lions at best...
Ed-Hyde - January 4, 2010, 11:11 am
Ron, if you really wrote that I'd LOVE to see the response.
amina - January 4, 2010, 8:39 am
Never have I been more proud of a motifaker then I am now. I must once again bow down in awe of your talent.
spacedog - December 23, 2009, 7:27 pm
Excellent Ron, 5Ls. If you're heading north, I might know where you could rent some Canadians. The maple leafs aren't doing anything much these days.
Zed - December 23, 2009, 6:23 pm
Ron, you win. 5 F'ed-up lions, dude!
CANADA - December 23, 2009, 4:17 pm
that would defiantly make them think
Derek - December 23, 2009, 3:03 pm
A inconsistency exposure of biblical proportions.
aesop's folly - December 23, 2009, 2:26 pm
5/5 for the win
GreyScorpion - December 23, 2009, 12:39 pm
Welcome back..."who gimme 5, gimme 5, 5, gimme 5....Sold!! to the Guiness drinker in the back. Pick up your canadian on your way out, sir."
Bartimaeus - December 23, 2009, 12:15 pm
This is fucking beautiful, Ron! 5 bible thumping lions for you. I hope you enjoy them. Daniel did.
R.S.Jake - December 23, 2009, 12:06 pm
I got my Canadian on ebay! It came down to the last minute, but I got the winning bid!
rerun - December 23, 2009, 12:05 pm

I cannot own a Canadian because they live to far North, the purchase price would have to be offset by the travel price required to make the purchase. So far, not one dealer is willing to deal. Guess the economy is on a rebound.


FAITHPALM - For epic fail of Biblical proportions


TAGS: jesus god facepalm bible faithpalm fail religion christianity lord
Rating: 4.28/5

More motifakes by BrokenEye

rerun - November 7, 2010, 4:32 pm

sorry face, facepalm
rerun - November 7, 2010, 4:28 pm

can't we stop with these lame faceplant posters?
thatonechick - April 14, 2010, 6:23 pm
Still explains the lisp!
GreyScorpion - April 14, 2010, 6:22 pm
goofy granola band
thatonechick - April 14, 2010, 6:19 pm
Corporate Avenger knew, Grey. :P
GreyScorpion - April 14, 2010, 6:16 pm
Jesus had a lisp? who knew. 5L
Claire - April 14, 2010, 5:43 pm
This is absolute genius!
forseti - April 14, 2010, 5:29 pm
very nice!!


WARNINGS - ... Crushing Religions Everyday ...


TAGS: warning holy bible religion crush
Rating: 3.61/5

More motifakes by Rick69

Zetmonk - January 26, 2012, 5:37 am
Actually, if I'm not mistaken, it was all just given to humankind according to most of the religions? I find it truly amazing that so many supreme beings find humans to be the most important being in the universe... Very convenient.
Rick69 - January 25, 2012, 2:40 pm
Aye, G.O.D. doesn't seem to be a very nice guy when you look too deep ... sadly too many religions follow this some G.O.D. under different names & proceed to fight over which one's better... & yet somehow our race conquered most of Earth + its animals ...
Zetmonk - January 25, 2012, 5:20 am
Nice Cloud, you feel better now? ;-)
CloudchaserS - January 24, 2012, 9:40 pm
Also, next time I get a fundie complaining about violence in something, I'm going to say "What about the violence including the acts of genocide that God commanded in your Bible?"
CloudchaserS - January 24, 2012, 9:32 pm
Then when someone tries to counter their argument using logic and reason to say they're interpreting it wrong, it's "false teaching" or they ignore it and continue to insist they're right
CloudchaserS - January 24, 2012, 9:31 pm
The problem isn't the book, it's the believers who act like their personal interpretation of it is the only right one and their beating others over the head with it.


Genesis -


TAGS: bible god genesis
Rating: 4.84/5

More motifakes by Vanner

manos - January 31, 2014, 11:56 am
haha awesome
EnkryptedSpirit - October 18, 2013, 4:19 pm
Nice one! 5L
nkstokp - October 2, 2013, 12:05 pm
AWESOME!
BobbEdwards - September 3, 2013, 9:29 am
Nice. Post it to Religifake too, if you haven't already.


SUPERHERO - Because the real Superhero is the one who saved us.


TAGS: jesus superhero church superheroes god spiderman hulk captain america word bible
Rating: 2.46/5

More motifakes by Oliver Henaine

DZ - April 8, 2009, 3:16 pm
D.C. bows to knowone!
k - November 3, 2008, 9:00 am
...and batman is nowhere to be seen. hellz 2 the yeah
Captain Douchebag - July 20, 2008, 11:21 am
I am deeply offended by this. Everyone knows Jesus was a raptor.
Paul Barfoot - July 17, 2008, 10:13 pm
They are all my favourite fictitious characters!
what?? - June 30, 2008, 7:25 pm
Copyright infringement.....hallaleuja!!!
Uhm No. - June 30, 2008, 5:29 pm
2 words...HULK SMASH!
elonine - June 29, 2008, 12:20 am
You are RIGHT! On of them is NOt like the others... One of them is a woman!
Ernie - June 23, 2008, 7:12 pm
You...have...got...to...be...kidding...me. One of these things is not like the others...
Shtoink - June 23, 2008, 3:57 am
BOO! if wolverine can talk shit to magneto i doubt hed bow to jeebus!


BIBLICAL TEACHINGS -


TAGS: sinatra bible alchohol
Rating: 4.81/5

More motifakes by Faceplant31

marlygirl - April 12, 2011, 6:05 pm
love this 5L
agdaniele - March 24, 2011, 12:45 am
What is this thing they refer to as "last call"? Never heard of it. But, I shan't distress the maker... drink it up, men... it's long after ten!
Bovee - March 23, 2011, 8:08 pm
5 more cause its last call!


THE BIBLE - To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I Agree".


TAGS: bible
Rating: 4.72/5

More motifakes by Kung-Fu Devil

fascistfrenchman - October 24, 2010, 2:54 pm
Too true.
pzykosiz - August 23, 2010, 12:26 am
nicely put. 5l's
Bartimaeus - August 22, 2010, 11:49 pm
TLDR> I agree.


STAR WARS - Improving On Christianity One Step At A Time


TAGS: star wars bible last supper
Rating: 3.39/5

More motifakes by PixieStickNinja

nicholsjoshua15 - March 8, 2014, 10:02 am
My favorite part of the Star Wars universe is the Old Republic era. The rest of it was cool, but the Old Republic era was kickass. It was dark, gritty, violent, and yet intelligent.
agdaniele - December 22, 2009, 7:47 pm
Improving? Just because the die-hard fans are involuntarily abstinent?
Bartimaeus - December 22, 2009, 10:31 am
Well...Darth Vader betrayed the Jedies.
aesop's folly - December 22, 2009, 10:21 am
who's judas?


THE HOLY BIBLE - "No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means." George Bernard Shaw


TAGS: christian bible life shaw believe
Rating: 4.09/5

More motifakes by jonyungk

Hinoron - December 14, 2011, 3:03 pm
It's a whole step worse than that, Cloud. There's at least 30 different versions of the bible in circulation right now, never mind versions are no longer around. In what context do you take the rewrite of a rewrite of a rewrite....
CloudchaserS - November 24, 2011, 12:51 am
Only 2.8L? Really? Truer words were never spoken! I believe there is a God and it really annoys me when people take his words out of context and use them to justify their own wishful thinking!


Fossils -


TAGS: bible jesus god stupid atheist christian scientists religion catholic church baptist westboro
Rating: 2.88/5

More motifakes by gonepostal42

VivaLaBukkit - October 12, 2010, 8:52 am
haha so logical
Nigga - September 29, 2009, 3:31 am
Fkn Sad Is what this poster is


BIBLE BLACK -


TAGS: hentai bible black
Rating: 2.41/5

More motifakes by tsukeru

MrBlack - March 19, 2010, 2:08 pm
It's a book of evil sex magic. The subbed series is considered one of the best hentai series ever. The dubbed series is considered one of the funniest ever.
Bartimaeus - March 14, 2010, 11:01 pm
Oh...I thought they were referring to that Black Lagoon thing. Sorry. Damn Satanic writings. I need a grimoire...
CANADA - March 14, 2010, 10:59 pm
thanks SD. What a shitty poster
spacedog - March 14, 2010, 10:58 pm
Check the first comment Canada.
Bartimaeus - March 14, 2010, 10:58 pm
Black Lagoon. It's a decent show. I never really got into it, though.
CANADA - March 14, 2010, 10:57 pm
I still don't know wtf TSB is
Bartimaeus - March 14, 2010, 10:55 pm
For the record, I think an anime bible would be awesome. We could replace Genesis with a giant robot fight and Jesus could be voiced by Dan Green.
agdaniele - March 14, 2010, 10:51 pm
Nothing wrong with that!
Bartimaeus - March 14, 2010, 10:50 pm
I had to make a biblical joke. Sorry. I love puns. I think I'm going on a tangent here.
agdaniele - March 14, 2010, 10:49 pm
I don't know if it's ageist. That's a judgement call... sort of like sex with real women.
Bartimaeus - March 14, 2010, 10:49 pm
that* not the*..."The" is what I shall smite.
Bartimaeus - March 14, 2010, 10:48 pm
...Or is the ageist?
Bartimaeus - March 14, 2010, 10:48 pm
And this is racist...against yellowed pages.
Bartimaeus - March 14, 2010, 10:47 pm
This is why I can't make Air Master posters...despite how aesthetically hilarious that show/manga is...
agdaniele - March 14, 2010, 10:47 pm
Going to hell because it's a BLACK bible? That's just racist.
Bartimaeus - March 14, 2010, 10:45 pm
An example of a bad anime poster. This one is intentionally obscure. I don't even think dubs are out for Bible Black. Are they? I've seen fan subs. (Support the official releases)
agdaniele - March 14, 2010, 10:42 pm
It's a crap motifake! See you guys there!
CANADA - March 14, 2010, 7:04 pm
whats TSB?
MrBlack - March 14, 2010, 6:52 pm
Bible Black
rerun - March 14, 2010, 5:36 pm

well Z, I guess we will let you live, but only because your avitar makes me hungry
Zagato - March 14, 2010, 5:33 pm
i honsetly had no clue XD i just seen the star of david and a sword, no flame intended.
SgtRock - March 14, 2010, 5:21 pm
I don't know, but I liked the series
rerun - March 14, 2010, 5:19 pm

It is the cover for TSB, Zagato is attempting to start a flame way or be funny. Either way it in't working
Treehodger - March 14, 2010, 5:18 pm
Oh. I thought this was the cover for TSB. Carry on.
Zagato - March 14, 2010, 5:16 pm
isn't this like a jew hating nazi book or something?
MrBlack - March 14, 2010, 4:58 pm
That's not what this specific bible is.
Treehodger - March 14, 2010, 4:53 pm
If you ever read The Satanic Bible, it is really quite fascinating. I never read it fully, but my friend has and he explained it all to me. It is by far not what people expect.


FAITH - "Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith. I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile." --Kurt Vonnegut


TAGS: kurt vonnegut faith bible jesus god stupid indoctrination creationists atheist christian scientists religion catholic church baptist westboro
Rating: 2.67/5

More motifakes by gonepostal42

Be scared - October 31, 2008, 6:04 pm
Of whatever you can't understand because your too dense to give any thought...


IT'S NOT OVER YET, KIDS - We still have another 2,000 years of this to go. After all, Nostradamus' last prophecy is after 4000 A.D.




MARK 5:9 - and jesus asked him 'what is your name?' he replied 'my name is legion for we are many' WE ARE ANONYMOUS, WE ARE LEGION


TAGS: anonymous bible passage scientology
Rating: 1.96/5

More motifakes by Chubb

Derek - October 3, 2009, 3:52 am
I feel as though I'm in a hall of mirrors.
LOLOLOL - August 2, 2009, 1:25 pm
SCIFAG TROLL!!!
Dweezle - March 19, 2009, 2:14 pm
The Bible was indeed an excellent work of fiction And yes the demons were put into pigs
Dweezle - March 19, 2009, 2:14 pm
The Bible was indeed an excellent work of fiction And yes the demons were put into pigs
LOLWUT? - August 27, 2008, 6:00 pm
"If my knowledge of old fictional books is correct" A WINRAR IS YOU.
Captain Douchebag - July 7, 2008, 10:41 pm
If my knowledge of old fictional books is correct, that passage comes from a story where a man was possessed by many demons, prompting the "My name is Legion" response. I think the demons were placed into pigs or something, I really just skimmed over that
Dude - July 7, 2008, 9:49 pm
So, Anonymous is Lucifer now?


GENESIS 7:24B -


TAGS: kraken noah s ark bible genesis
Rating: 3.81/5

More motifakes by matt28

CoolioIndeed - April 19, 2010, 10:22 am
Heh, well I meant in the sense it was all jumbled with the sentences.
DreMagnum - April 18, 2010, 11:09 pm
your copy paste worked fine
CoolioIndeed - April 18, 2010, 10:13 pm
Dammit! My Copy N Paste was a fail!
CoolioIndeed - April 18, 2010, 10:13 pm
to save you some time.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXttqg0RWU8 He says it at the end.
rerun - April 18, 2010, 9:54 pm

Thanks C. Appreciate it, will look at the trailer then see what vote it merits
CoolioIndeed - April 18, 2010, 9:54 pm
Which, i guess is a kraken. Lol, w/e!
CoolioIndeed - April 18, 2010, 9:53 pm
rerun it's a reference to Clash of the titans. At the end of the trailer(i havent seen the movie), Liam Neeson, who plays Zeus, says "Release the Kraken!". Granted, this looks more like a squid to me...
rerun - April 18, 2010, 9:30 pm

somebody splane this 2 me....


NEVER TRUST ANYONE - With a Bible in one hand and a gun in the other ...


TAGS: never trust anyone bible gun
Rating: 3.69/5

More motifakes by Budog

nicholsjoshua15 - March 29, 2013, 9:41 pm
Fact most crimes are committed by Liberals who live no where near the Bible Belt.
thecrotchetyoldcynic - April 7, 2012, 9:55 pm
This includes anyone who lives in the South, the Midwest, New York, California and anyone in Vatican City. Good job.
Budog - April 6, 2012, 8:18 pm
Well, my thinking is you should put down any book first. The way you have better control of the weapon and your aim will be much more accurate...
CloudchaserS - April 6, 2012, 8:22 am
The few Xians and gun owners who are nuts give the rest a bad name (is a believer, owns guns, does not impose his beliefs on others)


THE LIGHT - I have seen it!


TAGS: bible jesus religion oz
Rating: 3.93/5

More motifakes by TehOz

YouWish - March 26, 2012, 10:40 pm
Really? It's getting Hot where your at eh?
TehOz - March 17, 2011, 7:12 pm
LMAO!
stenusmc - March 17, 2011, 9:49 am
Be even funnier if it was a Koran.
TehOz - March 16, 2011, 7:55 pm
lol I'll watch my 6 and yes you can.
MilDoc - March 16, 2011, 1:44 pm
Be careful, TehOz (can I call you Hoze?). That light might just be an on-coming train!
voodoo3535 - March 16, 2011, 2:37 am
Sorry lord but that... that right there is funny.


STATISTICS - Wait you are going to tell me that god loves me?




SPOILER ALERT! - Jesus dies at the end.


TAGS: jesus bible spoiler alert dies
Rating: 3.07/5

More motifakes by Delish234

DrSynth - March 7, 2011, 6:45 pm
actually at the end he comes back
boeweizer - November 18, 2010, 2:09 am
but don't worry he comes back


PROVERBS 27:15-16 - A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands.


TAGS: i really love the bible for these reasons
Rating: 4.27/5

More motifakes by CpnKangaroo

crankyhead - December 6, 2010, 5:28 pm
can't believe i never saw this one before. Stellar.
Faceplant31 - March 3, 2010, 9:45 am
Perfect. 5L sir!
sickartist - March 2, 2010, 9:03 pm
Can I get an AMEN? 5L
phydeaux - March 2, 2010, 7:56 pm
OUTSTANDING CAP! 5L and a very well done!


THE HOLY BIBLE -




CARPENTRY -


TAGS: carpentry jesus bible
Rating: 4.17/5

More motifakes by fukurou

agdaniele - May 5, 2010, 2:23 pm
Terrible carpenter... he's cutting into the saw horse. Better try cooking school.


THE BIBLE - an atheists biggest joke a religious persons........................ biggest joke


TAGS: bible joke religeon religous holy
Rating: 2.6/5

More motifakes by ipaintyou323

Hector - March 24, 2009, 3:36 pm
I love it that Hebraic scholars feel that the accurate translation of "Thou Shalt Not Kill" is actually "Thou Shalt Not Murder a Fellow Jew".
rawr - March 24, 2009, 3:13 pm
thats too bad. wow, whoever wrote that is really going to hell.
Signe - February 24, 2009, 5:28 pm
clappity clappity... amsom


ISLAM - 5 Times a Day Or you Don't Get the 72 Virgins


TAGS: islam muslim bible jesus god stupid indoctrination creationists atheist christian scientists religion catholic church baptist westboro
Rating: 2.17/5

More motifakes by gonepostal42

rerun - October 12, 2010, 7:21 pm

see ya Viva
culos - October 12, 2010, 9:39 am
VivalaBendOver, have you noticed the dates the posters you comment on were created? We've moved on since then and have no need for Religion bashers. STFU or GTFO I guess...
GreyScorpion - October 12, 2010, 9:13 am
VivaLaDumbAss, did you just come into OUR house and tell us to STFU? not a good idea. one more stupid outburst, and you'll known as will be VivaLaGone. take it over to Politifake.org if you want to voice your opinion.
VivaLaBukkit - October 12, 2010, 9:05 am
we're on this site for a cheap laugh, not a religious debate so plz. . . just shut the f*ck up. . . all of you
VivaLaBukkit - October 12, 2010, 9:04 am
all these stupid arguments are why my religious belief is D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F, terrorist muslim extremists are a minority amongs islam ppl. saying the acts of thousands is the acts of all is just a wee bit racist. WTFO is a hypocrite
WTFO - May 2, 2009, 12:11 am
Did I mention that hermes is an ignorant dick? Accepting the acts of thousands engaged in the "jihad" by pointing to the acts of a few. And by the way, when was the last time an abortion clinic was bombed? Just curious.
hermes - May 1, 2009, 4:26 pm
did i mention mark is an arogant JERK OFF?
Hermes - May 1, 2009, 4:24 pm
hey mark did you hear about the uncivilized assholes blowing up family planing centers. they where christians you arrogant jerk off. we all have crazies in our religions.
dgbt - March 10, 2009, 6:07 pm
Christianity nor Islam did any of those things, it was crazy extremist assholes that did them.
Mark - March 10, 2009, 5:14 pm
I'm sorry...should I have capitalized "idiot?"
Airman - March 10, 2009, 5:11 pm
Mark, you need to quit being so vague..
Mark - March 10, 2009, 5:08 pm
And one other thing, you're an idiot.
Mark - March 10, 2009, 5:07 pm
barockeva - Read your own comment and then STFU. "In ye olden times." That was then and this is now. The plague-ridden corpses you refer to was a common practice used in siege warfare. Not quite the same as blowing up a peaceful market or police station
Airman - March 10, 2009, 4:54 pm
Christians do have to own up to "Jimmy Swigert".
barockeva - March 10, 2009, 4:52 pm
The christians did their jihad back in ye olden times. Only instead of suicide bombers they used plague-ridden corpses. Don't try to act like christianity is some innocent religion. It's done more then it's share of terrible things in the world.
Elder God Douchebag - February 4, 2009, 10:06 am
I'm working on it.
LogicDude - February 4, 2009, 10:05 am
Yeah, why just the other day I read about a whole rash of Christian suicide bombers running around the Middle East. Oh wait, there AREN'T any of those are there?
barockeva - February 4, 2009, 8:44 am
Christianity is just as bad.
Jimbo - January 2, 2009, 10:45 pm
This would be the perfect place to test a new bomb of some sort. Fuck islam.
spitfire111 - December 9, 2008, 1:07 am
dude, don't insult other people's religion just because you don't like it....
Narutarded - October 30, 2008, 8:06 pm
And if you do get the 72 virgins, they're all basement-dwelling mama's boys like Energy.


THE HOLY BIBLE -




THE BIBLE, STAN LEE VERSION - EXODUS 14:10-16:10 'nuff said


TAGS: bible religion stan lee marvel spiderman
Rating: 2.31/5

More motifakes by Jjonzz

Smokey - June 4, 2009, 5:30 pm
The book of excelsior!
agdaniele - May 15, 2009, 7:29 pm
Let my pixels go!!!!


EXPENDABILITY -




FATHER ANDERSON - Giving an entirely new meaning to "Bible Bashing"


TAGS: hellsing bible bashing
Rating: 3.48/5

More motifakes by riverstyxshow

enterthejoker - July 25, 2011, 10:34 pm
nice
wampyre - January 17, 2011, 9:05 am
I shall also give you 5 blessed bayonets!
corbett06 - August 1, 2010, 8:36 am
i will give you 5Ls cause i know some people dont know what your implying...you are right about that to


HOLY GHOST - From the New CHarlie Brown Translation of the Bible.


TAGS: bible holy ghost charlie brown
Rating: 3.23/5

More motifakes by Todd Snyder

Derek - January 5, 2010, 3:16 pm
"Here is a rock to build my church upon."
BoneCD - December 7, 2009, 7:22 pm
I lol'd, but don't ask me why


THE KORAN - Because the Bible is only one ply!


TAGS: bible koran quran religion christianity christians islam
Rating: 2.79/5

More motifakes by Me

happyfart - June 14, 2010, 5:23 pm
epic win


BIBLE SHROOMS - Jesus is waiting he might be dressed like cookie monster


TAGS: bible drugs jesus god mushrooms
Rating: 2.49/5

More motifakes by Ogre

murderblade - January 9, 2009, 9:12 pm
i like this version better. after you read it you can talk to a burning bush and part the sea.
S8N - May 13, 2008, 12:09 am
no better use for the buybull
Sean - May 2, 2008, 1:38 pm
Twisted genius to this one. Great.


WARNING -




RELIGION - Religion is a cultural system that establishes symbols that relate humanity to spirituality and moral values


TAGS: religion bible quaran moral values
Rating: 3.87/5

More motifakes by Budog

Budog - January 15, 2012, 12:59 am
Too bad they didn't throw The Book of Mormon in there too...
rodangol - January 14, 2012, 6:59 pm
The books that started the argument of which is better, the orginal or the sequels
Budog - June 18, 2011, 9:24 pm
LOL yeah I guess it would be an inside joke for those in the know.
Greeny - June 18, 2011, 9:23 pm
It all makes sense now! Geez I'm slow...
Budog - June 18, 2011, 9:19 pm
Krazirefa, I made a special poster just for you. The names were changed to protect the innocent and easily offended...
crankyhead - June 18, 2011, 9:13 pm
Kraz, here at motifake, we pretty much poke fun at everything. It's what we do. Humor is a pretty subjective thing though, occasionally, someone gets offended. Just keep in mind, that the intention of the poster was to make you laugh. Cheers =)
Budog - June 18, 2011, 5:54 pm
Boo hoo, did you forget where you are? Maybe I should post some bunny rabbits, butterflies, unicorns and rainbows for you. NOT!
ThatGuy - June 18, 2011, 5:46 pm
You sir might want to leave this sight if you don't want to be offended, just saying...
Kung-Fu Devil - June 18, 2011, 12:10 pm
krazirefa: I'd leave the internet if I was you. I'll play you out with my violin.
krazirefa - June 18, 2011, 11:35 am
Stop please! I find this unacceptable, offensive and unfaithful to both religions. again please.
Cloudchaser - June 18, 2011, 9:40 am
The problem is not either of the books themselves, but followers who cherry pick parts that justify what they want to be the truth and ignore everything else.


HELL - Silly Christians Myths Are For Kids


TAGS: hell bible jesus god stupid atheist christian religion catholic church baptist westboro
Rating: 2.77/5

More motifakes by gonepostal42

LURCH - July 15, 2009, 6:23 pm
Wait a second!!! the osmonds are mormons that doesn't count
LogicDude - July 15, 2009, 2:05 pm
I'm sorry, are you feeling persecuted?
a name of no use - July 15, 2009, 8:36 am
"YOU ATHEISTS, WE DON'T MAKE FUN OF YOU GUYS BURNING IN ETERNAL DAMNATION, WHY ALL THE HOSTILITY?"--Why do Christians always conveniently forget the Inquisition, Salem Witch Trials, slavery, Vatican indifference during World War II, and The Osmonds?
TheTrashHeap - July 15, 2009, 2:26 am
Anything that is your holy or sacred I’m gonna desecrate and use in jest But you’ll never hear a crack about Mohammed Cuz I don’t wanna get shot in the chest
Ironhand - July 15, 2009, 1:59 am
I found the actual lost beggining to the bible. It actualy begins. Once upon a time in immagination land.
LURCH - July 15, 2009, 12:04 am
YOU ATHEISTS, WE DON'T MAKE FUN OF YOU GUYS BURNING IN ETERNAL DAMNATION, WHY ALL THE HOSTILITY?
jerqls - April 6, 2009, 7:41 pm
Very often there is a grain of truth in what we might consider to be myth.
lol - October 30, 2008, 10:31 pm
lol, stupid shit christians.


THE BIBLE - Promoting self-contradictoin, injustice, cruelty, intolerance, death and discrimination since 2000 B.C.!


TAGS: bible bullshit wrong atheist agnostic christian
Rating: 2.31/5

More motifakes by Drake Steele

lostTheGame - July 17, 2009, 4:53 pm
Bible was actually written in the 300's C.E.
Firefly - June 18, 2009, 2:10 pm
Simple: religion sucks and has far too much blood on it's hands. Ever heard of a blood soaked, bigoted atheist crusade? Nope, thought not.
Ironhand - June 8, 2009, 10:34 pm
An interesting work of fiction. But like the others, just another book that should have started. Once upon a time, in the land of make believe.
Wolfie - April 10, 2009, 9:33 pm
censored and edited metaphores read as litteral fact... and jesus goes facepalm
john doe - December 12, 2008, 12:22 am
WOW!..wut bible u reading drake,share that shit.
Meh - November 14, 2008, 7:23 am
Editing is not the same as authoring. Come on have some guts and read it for yourself. Only then comment on it. It is actually a good read, some parts are boring others are very exciting.
RnR - October 6, 2008, 5:27 am
by papal decree "some" years after JC. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_bible
RnR - October 6, 2008, 5:26 am
The bible is an anthology... a selection of stories, verses, advise on life (eg love thy neigbors wife),... collected into the old and the new testament. Some parts predate JC, others came later. But the collection has been re-edited by papal decree "some
Kung-Fu Devil - October 5, 2008, 11:37 pm
It was wrote about 30 years after he died, I believe.
Charles - October 5, 2008, 11:29 pm
I thought the bible was initially written much much later than that. Like, say, AFTER the supposed birth of Christ. Or was that just the New Testament?


PRO-LIFE - Because God thinks legal abortions are for pussies


TAGS: psalm 137 9 bible smash rocks baby
Rating: 1.56/5

More motifakes by BrokenEye

Anonymous2 - October 12, 2010, 5:34 pm
I agree, AA. The context here is the repayment towards those in Babylon (who'd captured and enslaved the Jews) who had wronged them.
AdmiralAckbar - October 12, 2010, 2:14 pm
Taken out of context this does nothing but spread hatred. God Please Protect Me From Your Followers


BE GONE - When you show up at my door saying I'll go to hell if I don't believe as you... count yourself lucky that you walk away with your own teeth.


TAGS: biblebangers
Rating: 4/5

More motifakes by PapaFox

ughomer - November 26, 2012, 5:38 am
Gud 1, Papa!
EmilioDumphque - November 25, 2012, 3:21 am
What could be ruder than knocking on strangers' doors to tell them their beliefs are wrong? A sure sign of poor parenting. These guys must have been raised by wolves!
EmilioDumphque - November 25, 2012, 3:20 am
What could be ruder than knocking on stranger's doors to tell them they're beliefs are wrong? A sure sign of poor parenting. These guys must have been raised by wolves!


THE BIBLE - One of the best fantasy novels in existence... And still a better love story than Twilight




the bible -


TAGS: bible
Rating: 2.71/5
CANADA - August 18, 2009, 12:47 pm
I was unaware fact could be wrong
Bah - August 18, 2009, 12:46 pm
There is a significant difference between knowledge and wisdom. Christians who use the bible as a text book are morons, as are atheists who "believe in science". You're all doing it wrong.
guest. - July 6, 2009, 3:37 pm
atheists. Because they think everything the Bible is exactly how its written.
Fanatic - July 27, 2008, 6:20 pm
I agree, let's burn some Christians, and let's not forget those pesky little Muslims. NOT AFTER LUNCH, NAO!!!
Inverted Witch Hunt - July 12, 2008, 2:50 am
Let's Burn 'em! All the Christians!! ... I'm just kidding... Unless you guys want to... ? Maybe? After Lunch, say? -_- o_o Suwheat...
zerojustice - June 18, 2008, 7:17 pm
That's great... and I think that the only reason you have such a low rating is because of all the self-righteous christians... frigging noobs...
Sean - May 24, 2008, 7:55 pm
Yeah, it's a keeper. Great.
Max - May 24, 2008, 5:13 pm
I actually saved this one to my desktop, I loved it so much. :D
Sean - April 15, 2008, 1:11 pm
Excellent. First rate.


THE BIGGEST SPOILER - He doesn't even exist


TAGS: jesus spoiler god bible idiot
Rating: 2.15/5

More motifakes by j0ohn

nik - July 6, 2009, 7:01 pm
I wouldn't know. I haven't read the comments to know whose is whose. It's pointless. I'm not gonna change my mind cuz somebody disagrees with me, and I would never expect anybody to change theirs for me. It's good that you all stuck to your guns.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 6:58 pm
You are correct though, regardless of which of the two side you would fall on.
nik - July 6, 2009, 6:57 pm
BTW I'm not taking sides here, I'm just saying...
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 6:56 pm
Thank you, Nik.
nik - July 6, 2009, 6:53 pm
Neither side is ever going to agree with the other. Beliefs are beliefs. The real trick here, if it must be discussed, is to try to see the other side's reasons for their beliefs. It can be interesting. Otherwise, this isn't going to get anywhere.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 6:47 pm
You questioned Theists. I am a Theist. If you questioned Americans, do you think you might get some responses from individuals that happen live in America?
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 6:44 pm
oooooh snap!!!
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 6:43 pm
I didn't "call you out" I commented on a poster....who's being defensive?
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 6:42 pm
be this kind of uproar?
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 6:41 pm
What I don't understand is why so many people I have never met, nor will ever meet are bothered by what I believe? Someone called me out, so I responded. If I say Texas is the greatest state in the Union and that if you disagree then Oh Well, would there
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 6:38 pm
im sure a lot of things were "changed". Organized religion is still the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on mankind. If we gave up on god maybe we would find faith in one another. we will never know until we try! Religion IS the opiate of the masses.
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 6:35 pm
These traits and many other juses like traits were shared by 50 or so gods BEFORE jesus or the bible were ever made up.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 6:35 pm
Jesus was most likely born Sometime between late May and late June/Early July. It was "changed" to make the Church of Rome more appealing to the Goths and other tribes of northern Europe.
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 6:33 pm
es performing miracles. He was born to a virgin on dec 25th. he was crucified, died, and 3 days later was resurrected
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 6:32 pm
so called gods pre-dating jesus who share almost his exact storyline, makes christianity a plagiarism of dozens of religions. Horus was an egyptian god 2000 years before jesus. his birth was signalled by a star in the east. He travelled with twelve dicipl
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 6:29 pm
Christianity according to many experts is the evolution of pagan sun worship. The sun became "the son of god" the constellation virgo became the virgin Mary. It's all very straight forward and obvious when you investigate. Also the stories of so many
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 6:28 pm
clog the comments? Because there are no other unsubstantiated rants on Motifake right?
bonecd - July 6, 2009, 6:28 pm
fair enough
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 6:27 pm
Ok, Show me evidence that proves there is a God. And don't say Miracles, I have enough ammunition.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 6:26 pm
MO or anyone else may PM me via the forum, and I will be more than happy to share several evidences. I don't think it's right to clog the comments section of a tunnel poster with this kind of discussion.
bonecd - July 6, 2009, 6:26 pm
hold on Rome. Too many citizens were converting for the ease of having one god (one offering) instead of many gods (many offerings). Those are historical facts.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 6:25 pm
I, nor anyone else, regardless of what they say can "prove" anything. It is all evidence (on either side of the argument) and just like a trial, one looks at the evidence from both sides, and makes a decision. My decision is the evidence points to a God.
bonecd - July 6, 2009, 6:25 pm
lets see...you can't use the old testament; after passing down for years mouth to ear they got a scribe to commit it to writing. Can't us the old testament; Emperor Constantine gathered letters from leads of the "new one god" faith in order to save his...
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 6:20 pm
Maybe someone could "prove" something in the bible but that in no way proves the existence of god. If there were a god would he allow so much evil to be done in his name? What science or my senses cannot perceive, must not exist.
bonecd - July 6, 2009, 6:20 pm
lmao...good one
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 6:18 pm
You are correct, and I appologize. I mean apologize.
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 6:17 pm
oh thank god, that would make this too easy.
bonecd - July 6, 2009, 6:17 pm
Appologetics is spelled Apologetics I do believe
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 6:15 pm
"P"? I missed something. No I am not a Mormon.
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 6:14 pm
that's the christian answer to everything on the internet "no one is making you read this" Grow up.
bonecd - July 6, 2009, 6:13 pm
You got too many "P" in there jmac. You from the Mormon branch or the old school branch?
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 6:13 pm
"plato".....er? Jesus taught me to spell. he was absent most days.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 6:13 pm
mooooooooooooooooooo - no one is keeping you here. I was asked a question by someone else.
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 6:12 pm
please don't. just enjoy your dreamworld.
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 6:12 pm
Plaot? are you really gonna go there? more published copies of fiction, Is still fiction.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 6:12 pm
I will post a handful of other evidences if you like, but I don't want to clog up the comments section giving an exhaustive Appologetics lesson.
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 6:10 pm
They should "apologetic" to me for making me listen to this drivel.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 6:09 pm
I doubt the Shroud of Turin is what it is purported to be.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 6:08 pm
For one, there are more complete copies of ANY of the gospels than there are of the Illiad, the Odessey, or the Dialogues of Plato. No one questions the authenticity of the Dialogues of Plato.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 6:05 pm
It would take me about 100 posts with the 255 character limit to get started on the evidences, much less show all of them. There is a whole discipline called "Appologetics" dedicated to the scientific support of the Bible.
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 6:05 pm
And that Turin nonesense... I mean Jesus!that shroud with those sandals?
bonecd - July 6, 2009, 6:03 pm
I believe there is a God...but it ends there. Read the Dead Sea Scrolls some time...very interesting translations.
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 6:01 pm
You tell 'em Nik. gotta keep him in line.
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 6:01 pm
Or hung from a cross, Bone.
nik - July 6, 2009, 5:56 pm
Are you logged into the forum MO? That's what you need to do.
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 5:55 pm
um forgot to sign in?
MO - July 6, 2009, 5:55 pm
WTF? Yesterday I was the only one with an avatar...now I'm the only loser without one??? WHY GOD??? What did I do to deserve this cruelty???
bonecd - July 6, 2009, 5:53 pm
ALLLLright, It's all fun and games till somebody gets their eye poked out!
MO - July 6, 2009, 5:52 pm
Yo jamac! You've said twice now that you can give evidence to your beliefs.....care to share? And this isn't being typed in a negative tone btw.
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 5:52 pm
With the rest of us.
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 5:52 pm
Sorry, but you are lesser because you believe. You miss out on all the reason you could have enjoyed..You are weighing yourself down with Religion, Instead of enjoying the few years you have before you rot in the ground.
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 5:51 pm
and boom goes the dynamite!
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 5:50 pm
I would take offense to that too. If I was a gullible moron who believed in Santa Claus.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 5:49 pm
I never said I was better than you because I believe. My argument is that I am not lesser because I believe, especially when I can give evidences for my belief. I am sorry my comment rubbed you the wrong way.
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 5:47 pm
YOU should. but I never said that!
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 5:47 pm
After all, arguing religion is like loading the ice maker on the Titanic. Pointless and ultimately not going to help anyone.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 5:46 pm
I take offense to the idea of "religious-types being gullible morons that will believe anything, and thus are no better than someone believing in Santa Claus." Good day to you, sir, and I won't hold any hard feelings toward you.
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 5:40 pm
man was childlike compared to what we are now
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 5:40 pm
If faith makes you a better person then good on ya! For some people it really does. "the attitude of a bratty teenager that refuses to be told anything." was what set me off though. When I said "childish beliefs" I was obviously referring to a time when
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 5:34 pm
You don't have to explain. My point is, is that I can give you reasons why I believe what I believe. You may not agree with them, or come to the same conclusion, however, that does not mean I am an uniformed fool for coming to the conclusions I have.
MO - July 6, 2009, 5:34 pm
Look at trash...beating down organized religion and little girls!!! TALKIN TRASH!!!!
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 5:31 pm
Sounds like my school... Thank god for marijuana and drunken violence.
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 5:26 pm
Also the devout students saw me and my friends as a lower form of life and they outnumbered us! Luckily they were a bunch of pussies.
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 5:25 pm
In my exp whenever someone tells you to smile, nod, and go along with it! You should question and investigate, kick and scream if need be! If they can't explain their "answers" why should I have to show MY work?
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 5:22 pm
Its not that they pushed me to believe so much as they looked down on me for not believing. When a teacher tells you not to ask questions and to just accept what is being taught you have to step back and ask why ignorance is better than examination.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 5:16 pm
That is unfortunate. That happens in every religion, as well as politics. It is a shame that you were "pushed" by anyone. Pushing doesn't seem to have a high success rate.
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 5:10 pm
It's just so sad.
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 5:00 pm
10 years of Catholic school got me there.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 4:57 pm
And if there is a God, which I obviously believe, do you think God is going to be cool with their reasoning? I don't think so. TTH - the Vatican is indeed a corrupt place. Like I said, believe what you believe because you have come to your own conclusions
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 4:56 pm
We used to need god to explain away all the things that scared us. why should I believe in a fairytale told by other humans with no more insight than me, when I can look and see for myself that god is a myth supported by false promises.
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 4:54 pm
They are richer than anyone should be while their followers go without. Organized religion is the bane of human existence, its a corrupted system that should have been abandoned as soon as we knew why the sun rises in the morning. Its not god its nature!
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 4:53 pm
Your right Jmac. But how many fewer people would be dead If people couldn't use "God's word" as an excuse to kill?
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 4:52 pm
This leads to people following blindly and that is the true problem. Belief in god is ok but following a group is a problem. Inevitably the leaders become corrupt and the followers pay the price. The Vatican is one of the most ruthless companies out there
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 4:50 pm
True they don't need a reason but organized religion is usually the excuse. People should believe what they like but unfortunately most people who would choose religion are followers looking for answers. These people are easily corrupted and influenced.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 4:43 pm
People don't need a reason to kill other people. Plenty of people in large numbers have been killed for completely secular reason. I have respect for folks that believe what they believe because THEY believe it for themselves. "Drones" are dopes.
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 4:06 pm
in his name.
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 4:05 pm
They are just opinions after all. And regardless of who provided our free will we should still respect each others opinions. My only real problem with Religion is that it continues to be an excuse to ostracize and kill. If there is no god you cant kill
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 3:58 pm
BTW - tunnel = 1
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 3:57 pm
Use science to prove there is no God. I feel it's just as childish to have the attitude of a bratty teenager that refuses to be told anything. But you answer for you, and I answer for me, and ultimately it's best that way. It means you can tolerate anyone
thetrashheap - July 6, 2009, 3:53 pm
Man used to need god because we had no understanding of science and we were scared little children. We have now progressed to the point that belief in god only ties us to outdated thinking. We must move forward and leave our childish beliefs behind us.
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 3:47 pm
Re legion was early man's way to cope with the unknown. Nothing more. I thought mankind as a whole had moved beyond such Archaic ways of thinking.
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 3:45 pm
If anything my eyes and ears are wide open. You really believe that there is some higher power watching over you? I mean, Seriously? An Invisible man who created the world and want's you to worship him.....I feel really sorry for you.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 3:38 pm
there isn't a God.
jmac0585 - July 6, 2009, 3:37 pm
One could ask if you realize how infantile you look plugging your ears, closing your eyes, and humming at the idea that there is a diety of any kind. Believe what ever you like, but belittling anyone because they can't prove anymore than you can disprove
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 3:36 pm
Although it does help separate the Dimwits from the intelligent folks. I feel sorry for you.
mooooooooooooooooooo - July 6, 2009, 3:32 pm
I see where you're coming from. It's just hard to be tolerant of adults who believe in imaginary people in the sky. You must realize how infantile you look to normal people.......Flying Spaghetti Monster FTW!!!!!!!!
another spoiler. - July 6, 2009, 3:22 pm
Intolerant atheists usually hate CHristians.
Hahaha. - August 28, 2008, 2:36 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Pasta prevails.


SPOILER ALERT -


TAGS: jesus spoiler alert religion bible holy sacred
Rating: 2.57/5

More motifakes by CFriz

Alphareign - December 3, 2011, 6:13 am
Clearly someone hasn't read the Bible.
Agnostic - May 28, 2009, 12:49 am
He dies? At the end ?? ... Man! I was waiting for the new movie and YOU ruined the end!!! Now I will hope at least for some nice sepcial effects and the car chase scene. =/
Hector - February 17, 2009, 7:33 am
Nah, at the end is proof that you have to be careful which mushrooms you eat.
Anonymous2 - February 16, 2009, 6:28 pm
No he doesn't that's at the end of each of the gospels. At the end, he comes back.


HELL - I'm surprised you can spell THAT.


TAGS: pope bible god jesus christianity fake not real fiction
Rating: 2.44/5

More motifakes by Akyoyo

Akyoyo - July 28, 2009, 1:06 am
You're not only preaching to the choir, KFD, you're trying to ask the "La la la la I can't hear you" army a question involving LOGIC. You might as well try and tell the sky to be purple.
Kung-Fu Devil - September 4, 2008, 8:15 pm
Question... How am I going somewhere that doesn't exist?


PROCRASTINATION -




E.G.D. BIBLE - "Yea I say unto thee our Elder God has power over undergarments. Witness the mircale and know all is right in the world." Chapter 1 verse 1 (Book of Cubby?)


TAGS: e g d bible
Rating: 4.17/5

More motifakes by pieman

booger13 - March 20, 2010, 10:07 am
@ emily Osments/ Selena GomeZ's houses , guy cant stay with one hotty ^__^
Untamedfifty - February 24, 2010, 6:33 am
wheres pedobear?


GOD GETS HIS HANDS ON A BIBLE - Holy crap, who wrote this bullshit ?


TAGS: god bible who wrote bullshit
Rating: 3.91/5

More motifakes by Budog

rudeboy308 - July 18, 2011, 5:29 pm
"Where the f*** did I say 'Build a water slide?'" (Jesus, according to Sam Kinison during the PTL scandals).
RetiredUSNChief - July 18, 2011, 6:52 am
Starting to see a distinct trend here...


AND THE LORD DID SAY -


TAGS: holy grail dan brown modernized bible verse thats one randy bird typo fixed
Rating: 2.95/5

More motifakes by Bartimaeus

Bartimaeus - November 7, 2009, 9:38 pm
Thanks, Ron. I'm glad you like it.
ronsart - November 7, 2009, 9:12 pm
my 5L...like religious jokes...great pic!


POINT YOUR FINGER - To the side of your head. Now move it in a circle.


TAGS: bible flying saucers ufo religion doris funny
Rating: 2.86/5

More motifakes by Motifake Wit Liberation F

Hector - April 2, 2009, 9:14 am
Now that's funny. Not as funny as the idea that the bronze age god of battles from Jewish Mythology cares what you smoke.
RON - October 13, 2008, 2:53 am
lol...know its says shit like that in there...some guy taken up in the sky by an ufo...etc...think even Jesus went for a ride after being taken down from cross...very good in your statement...wow


HELL - The Bogeyman For Brainwashed Adults


TAGS: hell bible jesus god stupid atheist christian religion catholic church baptist westboro
Rating: 2.79/5

More motifakes by gonepostal42

Jackieboy - October 2, 2009, 4:13 pm
I'd tap that


CHRISTIANS - Get all pissy when you insult their precious bible. Yay road to hell!


TAGS: fail owned nsfw not safe for work christian bible hell
Rating: 2.33/5

More motifakes by Treners

Zed - December 26, 2009, 5:47 pm
Too bad for your hypothesis that a huge percentage of Atheists are former Christians, then, isn't it? Sorry, but the Bible is one of the leading causes of Atheism, Gladius.
Gladius - December 26, 2009, 9:07 am
It amuses me when people who have never read a Christian Bible, tell me it's bad. Most of the atheistic rhetoric I see, just sounds like the hate and intolerance that the Christian folks are always accused of. Guess hypocrisy cuts both ways. Rats, huh?Lol
Mark - March 3, 2009, 10:43 am
Tunnels are the highway to hell and = 1.
SgtPain - March 3, 2009, 7:43 am
As said by AC/DC I'm on a highway to Hell
SgtPain - March 3, 2009, 7:43 am
As said by AC/DC I'm on a highway to Hell
Moar - January 28, 2009, 2:46 pm
The most Christian thing you can do; tell someone they're going to hell!
Pinky Malone - June 29, 2008, 4:55 pm
Shit. Here I was going in a handcart!
RII - June 28, 2008, 7:49 pm
Personally I took the highway.


PROFOUND WORDS - For us to ponder.


TAGS: jesus cross words ponder god bible religion
Rating: 2.26/5

More motifakes by todd snyder

Me_ - December 14, 2009, 3:44 pm
Yeah, he pissed off the Romans and had to hang to keep them from killing off the rest of the population. Lets hear it for the rebel without a clue whose family whisked him away once the guards were not looking. Lets not forget about all the sheep too.
Zed - November 21, 2009, 4:41 am
Those nails might hurt. Here's a step-ladder and a claw-hammer.
CANADA - November 20, 2009, 11:53 pm
Go kill in the name of jesus!


WHAT MORE - can you say? Everything is owned when religion gets slapped in the face.


TAGS: religion theory theories theorys bible proving prove it owned ownd own3d slapped jesus
Rating: 2.25/5

More motifakes by Akyoyo

xxx - January 13, 2009, 1:32 am
well-thats pretty good, as long as they wont be going like "abortion" is bad, lets kill everyone who allows it!
Zed - October 20, 2008, 8:19 am
That's fine, IF the only bible you read is the New Testament by itself. The OLD Testament repeatedly urges folks to kill over the most trivial of justifications, glorified genocide and slavery, and claimed that rape was just dandy!
Tony-USAF - September 25, 2008, 10:59 am
Before I get owned by the spelling Nazi...*Murderer
Tony-USAF - September 25, 2008, 10:57 am
-lost, and made the world just a little bit better, no?
Tony-USAF - September 25, 2008, 10:56 am
Thats where faith comes in. If religion can divert a muderer/rapist from his ways, saving innocent lives, don't you think its worth it to let him/her believe what they want? If the Bible is wrong, let it be wrong. It still has proven to be hope for the lo


FINISHING MOVES -


TAGS: finishing moves david goliath sword bible
Rating: 1.78/5

More motifakes by fukurou

Jmac0585 - May 6, 2010, 11:12 am
NFE


IN FIRST PLACE - Why did God create them?




STEM CELL RESEARCH - Science is Satan's Handiwork Jesus Decides When You Die Be Grateful or You're Going to Hell


TAGS: stem cell research bible jesus god stupid atheist christian religion catholic church baptist westboro
Rating: 1.42/5

More motifakes by gonepostal42

Porcelina - November 23, 2008, 12:14 am
Just out of curiosity, what religion ARE you? If you really are an atheist... What's your logic. Just apathy?
WTFO - November 23, 2008, 12:13 am
Spell check on myself: make that "like a fart" drop the "s". Spelling nazis can move on, thank you.
WTFO - November 23, 2008, 12:11 am
Personnally, I don't care what religion people believe in but LogicDude is right you ain't funny. Your opinion is like a farts, no matter how hard you try, it still won't amount to shit.
LogicDude - November 11, 2008, 11:30 am
Yes...you have just one long unfunny - not one iota - theme. We get it already. You're against Christians. NEXT!!!
gonepostal42 - November 11, 2008, 3:11 am
just for the record, that's sarcastic. Check out the rest of my posts...there's a common theme
Merlin - November 10, 2008, 11:39 pm
Bwahahah! Oh, fuck, that's funny an- wait, you're serious? Ahh, who gives a shit what crock you believe in, I'm gonna do who and what I please, and science it up!
Dante - November 7, 2008, 12:15 pm
IF I AM GOING TO HELL I MIGHT AS WELL DO WHAT I WANT AND ENJOY THE RIDE!!!
Dante - November 7, 2008, 12:14 pm
(Cap lock Time.)


ADAM & EVE -




MOSES -


TAGS: the bible according to cubby
Rating: 4.63/5

More motifakes by Cubbybear

AdmiralAckbar - September 28, 2010, 12:56 am
convert
AdmiralAckbar - September 28, 2010, 12:52 am
if Sunday mass is anything like this you have a%2rt.


LESBIANISM -


TAGS: i think jesus said that somewhere but it didnt make it into the bible
Rating: 4.35/5

More motifakes by Sean

Sean - June 1, 2010, 1:40 pm
Thanks. And fortunately for lesbians and those of us who respect them, woodless dudes tend to throw like non-lesbians.
Faceplant31 - June 1, 2010, 11:58 am
Good one!
agdaniele - May 29, 2010, 3:09 pm
Heh heh.


THIS IS THE PLACE -




THE BIBLE FOR DUMMIES - Isn't that gap in the market already filled by the real Bible?


TAGS: bible dummies
Rating: 3.41/5

More motifakes by Kung-Fu Devil

Mooooooooooooooooooo - September 12, 2010, 8:00 am
You must have known you'd be bombed by bible thumpers.....anyways, you got my 5 KFD.
deadluvva - September 12, 2010, 7:57 am
Love it. lollllllllll


E.G.D. BIBLE - "1. The appropriate attire should be worn on the sabbath to honor our elder god." (The commandments of Culos)


TAGS: edg bible
Rating: 3.38/5

More motifakes by pieman



SHOOP DA WHOOP -


TAGS: shoop da whoop bible distraction
Rating: 3.26/5

More motifakes by Dess

Dess - September 14, 2009, 1:40 am
thank goodness someone agrees with me
Shamrock - September 3, 2009, 2:06 pm
Beautiful! I believe this should be the correct response to all political/ religious tunnels...


THE BIBLE - must be misspelling words again...


TAGS: bible atheists evil
Rating: 3.07/5

More motifakes by Michael

The Big Bang - March 2, 2009, 9:36 pm
Nothing pops into existence, eh? The nerve.
barockeva - December 8, 2008, 3:49 pm
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things. Slap in the face!
RII - August 16, 2008, 11:42 am
Actually religions do tend to propose that things just 'popped into existence,' but, yeah, if we're going to use 'created' Einstein's mom is a more viable candidate.
Sean - August 16, 2008, 10:45 am
... and likewise for his sister. Cuz I hear ... "The Postman always rings twice."
RnR - August 16, 2008, 7:15 am
One thing is sure: Afreds mom was his mom, his dad might have been the postman.
RnR - August 16, 2008, 7:14 am
nothing just "pops into existence", ever. we've got laws of fysics. Some form of "creation" happens, wether it is cells/dna merging or a bearded guy snapping his fingers. Thou definition of a person has little to do with how he/she was "created". One thin
RII - August 15, 2008, 9:31 pm
Born does not equal created. Not by, oh say, fifty IQ points. Want a direct dictionary.com link or could you manage to find it yourself?
RnR - August 15, 2008, 4:04 am
Einstein wasn't born?? OMG, that means Einstein was a little green man from another planet!
RII - August 15, 2008, 2:33 am
Einstein's dad didn't create Einstein you slack jawed asshat, and Einstein cannot be equated to the whole of existence.
Well - August 14, 2008, 10:49 pm
The same way that Einsteins dad didn't create the theory of relativity.
Alexiel - August 13, 2008, 4:16 pm
how can evil be manmade when the god is the creator of all? fail.


AND FINALLY : - #7 when chartering a wooden vessel, a passenger list that includes termites & woodpeckers isn't a great idea.




WHY WE WORSHIP... - A Book... Made By A Man... For Men?


TAGS: religion bible worship why
Rating: 2.89/5

More motifakes by TailsDoll

Cubbybear - July 22, 2010, 12:58 pm
Gotta have Faith....3/5 You're getting there keep up the effort


COMPLETE IDIOT GUIDE - That's what the World needs


TAGS: bible
Rating: 2.69/5

More motifakes by Helldeath

Ag218 - October 28, 2008, 12:28 am
And the Unicorns. What's up with them? Are we to believe that they just flew away? *scoffs*
Sean - October 27, 2008, 6:33 pm
So ... yer saying the Bible is incomplete? What did they leave out, other than what happened to the dinosaurs after they got off the ark?
Ronhated - September 27, 2008, 12:15 pm
That's the most redundant book I've ever seen. Redundant.


NO LONGER SVELT - They gotta punch new holes in the Bible Belt.


TAGS: bible belt fat
Rating: 2.63/5

More motifakes by TheTrashHeap

TheTrashHeap - August 2, 2009, 1:37 pm
apt.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - August 2, 2009, 1:33 pm
Nice one Trash.


THE BIBLE - rotten, just like it's content


TAGS: bible rotten
Rating: 2.47/5

More motifakes by anonanon

jesus mcfinnigan - February 4, 2009, 11:00 am
god i have an erection the size of a mudkip
DotDotDot - January 15, 2009, 11:37 pm
Although I was raised southern baptist I'm not much on religion... but dan's comment makes this picture that much funnier.
english--and proud - November 23, 2008, 7:12 am
A bit like most Christians..."Mushrooms"..kept in the dark,and fed bullshit ..
dan - November 23, 2008, 7:08 am
You fail at life
Max - June 14, 2008, 3:57 am
Ah, well, at least everyone is sure to get it. And I can't fault the statement.
Sean - May 10, 2008, 9:08 pm
And here I thought my one with the multi-coloured penis pumps lacked subtlety ....


GOOD ADVICE -


TAGS: life time day joke religion bible mistake prejudice human nature sexy
Rating: 2.47/5

More motifakes by giulio

Jmac0585 - June 19, 2009, 11:18 am
It was funnier when I said it. I think...


HELL - Give the Church 10% of Your Income Or You're Going There


TAGS: hell bible jesus god stupid atheist christian religion catholic church baptist westboro
Rating: 2.32/5

More motifakes by gonepostal42

Overlord Douchebag - October 30, 2008, 11:36 am
If it's not spicy or hellish, then you cooked it wrong.
Motifake Wit Liberation Front - October 30, 2008, 3:13 am
Haven't any of you ever had Human Soup? It's not hellish; it's not even spicy. More like chicken soup, but the dumplings are different.
Sho - October 29, 2008, 11:22 pm
No, he's right. If you don't do that, they say you don't belong to the "chosen group" that will be saved when the Judgment Day arrives. believe me I know
Put a stamp on it - October 29, 2008, 6:30 pm
Learn to read please, that's not what it's about


THE HOLY BIBLE GAME - Starring Scooby-Doo and the gang. Help him find out who God really is.


TAGS: scooby bible
Rating: 2.2/5

More motifakes by Kung-Fu Devil

Fatt Matt - April 12, 2010, 11:19 am
It was old man Weathers the whole time.


HELL - As Defined By Dante's Inferno, Not The Bible Don't Be An Illiterate Douche Bag When You Tell Me I'm Going There


TAGS: hell bible jesus god stupid atheist christian religion catholic church baptist westboro
Rating: 2.14/5

More motifakes by gonepostal42

Hordika - January 8, 2009, 9:03 pm
wheres the other 4? Note: Apparently I'm special enough that Satan decided to give me any seat I want.
smash - November 13, 2008, 3:39 pm
seems as though I have a few seats reserved for me.......
yon - November 10, 2008, 9:51 am
save me a seat will ya
Culos - October 30, 2008, 5:03 am
Won't tell you where you're goin' but I'll see you there for sure....


READ THE BIBLE - And avoid dumb questions.Give it a try.It is a fiction book, but it is a best-seller too.


TAGS: the bible
Rating: 2/5

More motifakes by Amaterasu

Eulle P. Yourpanz Phd. - January 27, 2009, 4:16 pm
Daddy grew up reading the bible regularly. They only had an outshouse on the farm and he always tried to finish the page...


IN PREPERATION - cause we know what your going to say, and don't care.




Jesus -




EXODUS -




I wonder about Gutenberg -




intelligence noted -




PRIORITIES - Because not coveting your neighbor's donkey is more important, obviously.




ANONYMITY - Though this job apparently pays well...no one wants to write home about their days behind the glory hole. Things could get sticky.


TAGS: poster fodder forgive the gutter mind bacon jesus religion keep your bible handy this is one hell of a ride nice camera btw
Rating: 3.94/5

More motifakes by Bartimaeus

agdaniele - March 6, 2010, 10:14 pm
Actually, it's Pat's Place tapering off. Prison would be far less mild.
GreyScorpion - March 6, 2010, 9:52 pm
looks like Pat's Place, In Prison
spacedog - March 6, 2010, 9:35 pm
Good poster Bart, 5Ls.


PROTECTION -


TAGS: or bible camp band camp mime school drovers ed home ec
Rating: 3.31/5

More motifakes by Sean

MrRandom - October 5, 2009, 6:10 pm
I can completely see you in mime school


pho·net·i·cal·ly -




NEGOTIATIONS -


TAGS: letsgetbibilicalbiblicalletmehearyourbibletalk
Rating: 3/5

More motifakes by Sean

Sean - April 19, 2009, 2:31 am
And Pharoah did mull it over some.


DINOSAURS - Not in Genesis because not yet discovered by Science!




ATHEIST CONVENTION -


TAGS: a bit like the bible
Rating: 2.96/5

More motifakes by pzykosiz

house - June 20, 2011, 7:30 pm
Therefore I am GOD. Only argument is that this theory means everyone and everything is also God.....yes even inlcuding the Timmy's
house - June 20, 2011, 7:30 pm
Omniscient - all knowing. So God is everywhere. The universe is everywhere. I am a part of the universe. The whole is made up of a sum of its parts (i.e without all parts it is not complete). The universe is not complete if i'm not here.
house - June 20, 2011, 7:28 pm
Ok here goes - now this is the theory i proposed at uni, to my philosophy lecturer who was an ex anglican miister and he agreed with me. I am God (stay with me here) God is by definitions 3 things Omnipotent - all powerful Omnipresent - everywhere
FatherTyme - June 20, 2011, 8:39 am
Pzykosiz, that's kinda narrow thinking, nobody "forces" anyone into anything. We do have something called "free will?" It allows us to choose what we want to believe, what to say, what believe, whose Motifake's to approve and reject.
pzykosiz - August 9, 2010, 9:51 pm
i am trying to watch what i say with the relgious jokes though, cause one of them ended up getting me a time out
pzykosiz - August 9, 2010, 9:50 pm
i agree that same thing can be said about all religions, there are militant people in every religion, and other beliefs. I'm against anyone who tries to forcibly change your views, or thinks their better than others becuase their belief is different
culos - August 9, 2010, 9:23 am
The right God is a (oxy)moron
TheTrashHeap - August 9, 2010, 9:09 am
What about the religious folks who gather every sunday and think they are better than EVERYONE because they believe in the RIGHT god? Religion is an out-dated practice and has no place in modern society. Our ancestors will be embarrassed by our naivete.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - August 8, 2010, 9:42 pm
Or animal 3-ways?......only when I watch the BBC.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - August 8, 2010, 9:41 pm
That I'm better than you?....yep. I think that all the time.
pzykosiz - August 8, 2010, 8:03 pm
you've had the same thoughts before haven't you
Mooooooooooooooooooo - August 8, 2010, 7:47 pm
Maybe Noah was just into 3-ways and animals.......food for thought.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - August 8, 2010, 7:35 pm
I'm better than you, Not because I'm an Athiest....I'm just better than you....2 lions, 2 tigers, 2wallabys, 2squirrells, 2 llamas......still 2 (that Ark had to be crowded and smelly)
pzykosiz - August 8, 2010, 7:30 pm
thanks guys. I will say I have no problem with people being atheists, I only have a problem with the ones who think they're better than religious people, becuase they don't believe in a god. ie. the type of people that go to these conventions
Sean - August 6, 2010, 4:25 pm
*bright
Sean - August 6, 2010, 4:21 pm
You're right. God made man outta dirt. And woman outta one of dirtman's ribs. The dirt he made outta nothing. I'll 5 this outta sheer contempt for any fellow atheist who has ever tried to call themselves a "bight" in public.
Reality Lord - August 6, 2010, 1:44 pm

5L's from me dude. i have one i'm working on very similar. you been bombed i think bro. this is good...very!


ROUND 8503197624... - FIGHT!


TAGS: brain bible
Rating: 2.73/5


THIS BOOK - When it's referred to as "Good", the speaker just means it has pictures.




LIBERALS - Banning bibles since 2004.




CAIN AND ABEL -




MAYBE HE DOES - but let's wish thats not true


TAGS: jesus spoiler bible the end zombie celebrity sports mma cats videogames tv
Rating: 2.54/5

More motifakes by Alexiel

Overlord Douchebag - November 16, 2008, 12:38 pm
They're the number one most-worshiped creature in Japan.
Motifake Wit Liberation Front - November 16, 2008, 12:24 pm
Who isn't? Dickbeasts are the third most popular temporarily worshipped celebredeities on Witopia, just after Buddhoprah and the Olson Icosuplets.
Overlord Douchebag - November 16, 2008, 9:05 am
Yes, let's stop questioning everyone's beliefs. It's common knowledge I'm the only one worth worshipping here. Well, maybe the dick-beasts from MWLF's world. But that's only if you're into that sort of thing.
joey - November 16, 2008, 2:39 am
religious shit like this shouldnt be on the internet. lets stop questioning eachothers beliefs.


GIANT JESUS RESURRECTION - "Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live." All Else will be destroyed by the Giant Jesus.


TAGS: giant jesus resurrection bible
Rating: 2.43/5

More motifakes by doofenshmirtz

OhBoy - August 14, 2009, 10:35 am
This is right beside twin creek turtle creek flee market. Also called. Touchdown Jesus


PSAMLZ 25:8 -




THINGS YOU DON'T HEAR IN CHURCH 1 - God moons Moses (Exodus 33:18-23, 34:5-8)




GREED - No Longer One of the Seven Deadly Sins


TAGS: jim bakker bible jesus god stupid indoctrination creationists atheist christian scientists religion catholic church baptist westboro
Rating: 2.16/5

More motifakes by gonepostal42

Scorpio7 - November 18, 2008, 8:39 am
This is a real book, written by real asshole, and publshed in 1996. http://lccn.loc.gov/97102988


LUST - No Longer One of the Seven Deadly Sins


TAGS: ted haggard bible jesus god stupid indoctrination creationists atheist christian scientists religion catholic church baptist westboro
Rating: 1.67/5

More motifakes by gonepostal42

Keep going - October 31, 2008, 6:05 pm
until you are gone postal....


THE KORAN - I own several copies. Read and re-read it. Compared to the hate and violence in the Bible--either Testament--this is a love song.


TAGS: koran bible religion hate prejudice
Rating: 1.5/5

More motifakes by okami

Hector - June 21, 2009, 9:26 pm
For a true taste of the absurdity of it all read the comic strip Jesus and Mo. Both the bible and the Quran/Koran are pick and choose to suit your mood. Skeptics annotated is a wonderful site - it's no Motifake, but then, what is?
Sean - June 21, 2009, 5:58 pm
*(or thereabouts)
Sean - June 21, 2009, 5:58 pm
You make an intersting point, okami. And if you go on the website called skeptic'sannotatedbible 9or thereabouts) you can easily compare the number and kind of such passages in the Bible to what is in the Koran.
Sean - June 21, 2009, 5:54 pm
"raisin", "virgin" -- both can be delightful, but only one of the two is truly low maintenance.
WTFO - June 21, 2009, 5:51 pm
Since Arabic doesn't use similar characters to English, there are multiple spellings of Arabic words when translated. Quran and Koran are both correct, Arkot.
Arkot - June 21, 2009, 9:43 am
I find it truly amazing that you misspelled qur’an even though it says it in the picture
FearlessFreddie - May 16, 2009, 5:13 pm
I have a copy of this holy book. I used it as toilet paper, on occasion. That's all it is good for.
Mark - May 13, 2009, 1:01 pm
How about if you just keep reading it instead of posting crap like this?
Jmac0585 - May 12, 2009, 6:31 pm
Is that why you have so many copies? So you could read it more than once?


THE LAST SUPPER - This was what it was


TAGS: bible
Rating: 1.25/5

More motifakes by solidsnake

D0Cvinnie666 - July 28, 2011, 4:25 pm
HAMTARO!!! Then gets eaten by that keyboard cat jesus


Zombie Jesus -


TAGS: zombie jesus easter last supper bible quote
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by JesusWept

JesusWept - March 27, 2016, 2:41 am
I did. Thanks :)
concern3 - March 27, 2016, 2:31 am
Nice, I hope you had a better Good Friday than Jesus had. UP yours


Reassurance -




Free Candy -




Blessing -


TAGS: bless condoms jesus bible quote
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by JesusWept

concern3 - December 18, 2015, 2:36 am
I really enjoy bible quotes especially in their proper perspective and this is a %ER


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